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I’m going to take a moment to tell you about my history with birth control. The kind that a lot of folks claim to be a women’s health tool. You know, the story that runs along side, and really gets you to your destination…

I began my cycle at 9 years old, and everything was wrong. I had 6 solid months where I had NO BREAK from the bleeding. My mother, worried about me, took me to an OB/GYN who put me on the pill, I kept bleeding, he went to a higher dose, still I bled. We kept up this dance until I was on the strongest pill available in the mid 1980s.

I remained on the pill until college, when I started a serious relationship with my “playmate” (now husband). I was very tired of taking a pill daily, so I thought, I will get that awesome shot, and my period nightmares will be OVER! And they WERE!! It was FABULOUS! I didn’t have a cycle for over 2 YEARS!! (Boy, that sounds so good for the body)But I gained well over 50lbs. FAST. This was in the mid 1990’s, and I JUST got that weight off this year. That’s a totally separate issue.

Once we were happily married, I thought we should get off birth control and I should learn how to be in charge of my own body. I looked into “Taking Charge of your Fertility”  and I began charting. (this was a small nudge from God.. but who was listening??) I had some CRAZY CHARTS!! My most memorable chart was 168 days, with nothing happening. NOTHING.

So, I made an appointment with my primary care office, and was told “You’re fat. Your cycle won’t be regular unless you lose weight”

Fast forward over a year and fertility drugs, and we had a baby girl. After her birth, I went on the “mini-pill” so I could control my fertility, and still breastfeed. Only, I couldn’t. My milk supply was SO LOW. So, I just stopped taking the pill, and got fitted for a diaphragm. What?!?! This is the worst thing ever.. well, not REALLY, but.. UGH, what a joy-kill! Anyway, I honestly don’t remember what I did after that, I’m pretty sure I went back on the pill.

Once my husband and I started thinking of a second child, I went back off the pill, and we just planned on seeing a fertility specialist. We were living overseas at the time, but I knew it would be easy, based on the culture of where we were taking up residence.

Well, needless to say, this is where it gets kinda funny.

I went to the doc for some sort of sinus infection or something, and they gave me a pregnancy test, and it was POSITIVE! I was, shocked isn’t even CLOSE to the right word. Dumbfounded?

Well, after the birth of our second daughter, I went..and got an IUD.

We wanted to plan a trip to Rome and all, see the Vatican, get in touch with our faith.

Head. Desk.

That IUD (the Merina) was HORRID, I had such pain, and other physical problems, I wept nightly.

I heard a radio program talking about my IUD, about how it REALLY worked, what it  does as it’s main function. I cried in my car.

I left Mass during prayer over mothers on Mother’s Day, sobbing.

That’s when I told my husband I felt like a fraud, if I could do this to any POTENTIAL life, how could I parent the children I have been given? This is when I finally brought this up to my husband. He had been avoiding talking about it with me as well, but he fully agreed, and I made the appointment.

When I went in to have it removed, they discovered it was contaminated, and I nearly lost my ability to HAVE children. I was days away from requiring a full hysterectomy.

God. Smack. (with a 4×4 upside the head)

This is what really kicked off my NFP and Pro-Life journey.