, , , , ,

Nothing I’ve ever done has “taken”, I had no staying power, nothing lasted. What DID last, was my use of LSD. LSD, you say?? WOW! Only total freaks used LSD. Well, here’s what my thought process was (proof I am indeed a loon)-LSD wasn’t physically addictive! (yeah, I went to the library and researched what drugs were and were not) AND BONUS, it was CHEAP!! $5 would let me have one hell of a night, and no hangover!! Well, not the same kind of hangover anyone could comprehend. But it did nearly cost me my life. Like to hear a story? Here it goes..

In the 1990’s there lived a concert series for punk kids to go and be stupid, it was an all day event, and in the year of the Chili Pepper, I went. Again. Only this year I got talked into entering the pit. Yeah, you guessed it. I wasn’t sober. Hallucinations abound, and I entered, my friend swore she’d hold on to me. Cute boys break promises. I got knocked down, and I was maybe 10 feet from the stage. No one could hear me. And no one could FEEL me, because I felt just like all the blankets and bags left from the squatters. I was screaming. I was crying. I peed. I started grabbing upward.. ya know, where boys might notice being grabbed? There. Someone finally realized I was no sleeping bag. He started screaming. No one cared. They were “this close” to the peppers!! Then, someone pulled me up. He was HUGE, long hair, no shirt, amazing body. Think cheesy romance novel-beautiful. Angelic. He lifted me, carried me to the other side of the fair grounds, to the REAL bathrooms, and washed my face in the water fountain, then he vanished. Looking back on it, I really think he is my Guardian Angel. And I think God wanted me to PAY ATTENTION TO MY LIFE. I didn’t. I wasn’t willing to see what ugliness I was digging myself into.

I was so NOT ready for what he had in store for me. Hell, I wasn’t ready to start my junior year of high school the next day, bruises and scabs all over my face. Now, as I look back, I see that this really was the start of something fantastic.

I started my junior year, a HOT MESS. My way was all turned around, my focus was off-center. I turned back to my drug of choice, and photography. Both went really well, considering. I advanced in art and science, failed miserably at friendships, relationships, and all other subjects. I am smart, I lack application. (still do, really) I did finish high school with only one adult arrest on my record!! (I’m free of convictions.. HAHA, that was a pun)

I tried to have a good outlook, but I was working with the devil, and that can’t go well for long, can it?